This Thanksgiving, I challenge you not to think of your misfortunes or the things you wish you had. Too often, we concentrate on the things ...
Darlene Lancer, author on Psych Central, describes autonomy as, being able to "govern your own life and that you endorse your actions."
"Your actions are determined by your beliefs, needs, and values, which give you more control over thoughts and emotions," she wrote.
I believe that independence is the key to happiness. Independence is a basic human need. Independence is, what I feel, is one of ...
|The Macomb Daily/RAY J. SKOWRONEK|
But, when you are feeling worthless, it's hard to convince yourself that these thoughts are unrealistic and illogical — a product of your depression. And whenever someone tries to convince you otherwise, you think they are lying to you.
Many people describe those who commit suicide as "selfish." But this is just not true. Most people who take their own lives are not in their right mind at the time. They think no one will miss them, and may even think that the world would be better off without them. The last thing on their minds is how their death really would affect those who love them. Because, at that moment, they think no one loves them.
I'm sure this is what 21-year-old Brenda Tucker of Eastpointe was feeling when she shot herself while at a Detroit bar at the end of October. She never could have foretold how her death would lead to a domino affect of tragedy.
Her brother Ricky raced to the hospital to be with his sister, not knowing that she was pronounced dead on arrival. The Macomb Daily reports that, while driving to the hospital, he crossed over the center line in the road and crashed into an SUV. He died on the way to the hospital.
In one day, Rose Tucker heard two things a mother should never have to hear. Two of her three children were dead. She told The Macomb Daily, “I lost my heart and my soul right there, in the hospital.”
Brenda probably thought her death wouldn't affect others. She probably didn't think anyone would miss her. Oh, how wrong she was.
Her brother was so worried about his sister that he put his own life on the line as he rushed to be with her. And their mother's life will now never be the same. Ever major life event, ever holiday will never be as happy as it once was without her two children there to enjoy them. Her life will always feel like something is missing. And nobody and nothing will ever completely be able to fill that space, no matter how much time passes.
Whenever you are depressed, consider this. If you die, this will directly affect the life of someone else.
Your death could end the life of another — whether it's by rushing to help you like this brother or causing those you care about to consider suicide as well. But even if your death doesn't cause the death of others, trust me, it will make others lives a lot worse. Not better, like you may think. Not at all.
Times when I'm feeling down on myself, when I think I'm worthless or I think negatively about the future, I have learned to think to myself, "You're being unrealistic. This is not real. Your brain is being your worst enemy. You would never think this about other people, so why the heck are you thinking this way about yourself? And you don't know what the future will hold, so stop trying to predict it!"
I think realizing these thought are unrealistic and realizing that, even if you don't believe it, people do actually care about you is the first step in saving your life.
Imagine getting a phone that the person you care about and love most in the world has just died. This is the same way those who love you will feel if this happened to you.
Remember this every time you think the world would be a better place without you.
The Macomb Daily/RAY J. SKOWRONEK A recent study shows that more than 80 percent of depressed people express self-dislike and see thems...