Fear of the unknown

Photo credit: Tumblr
About a month ago, I had my future neatly planned out in my head. I thought I would get married within the next two years and then, at around 30, have two kids. But then I traded this certainty for the unknown.

We never know what the future will hold. But I thought I knew my future. And I liked the surety because not knowing, well — it's a scary thing.

Because of this, I feel like I've turned into somebody I don't recognize. I feel like I've transgressed into a scared little girl not wanting to take chances because I'm so terrified of the ending.

But what kind of life is this? It isn't a life at all -- being so scared to even live it. And it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because then, everything will end before it ever began because you don't want to take a chance on it.

Anxiety tends to be associated with worrying about future or past difficulties, rather than an immediate situation, according to the group "Friends Preventing and Treating Anxiety in Children and Youth." The present is the only thing we can control. We can't do anything about the past or the future, and when we try, it leads to an anxious desperation because it's not possible. Let me repeat that. Trying to control the past or the future IS NOT POSSIBLE.

We only have one chance to live in the present, and, with each nanosecond, the present becomes the past. I don't want to live in regret; I don't want to miss out on opportunities because of fear.

Here are some really good tips I found on the blog Oh She Glows about how to live in the present:

1. Breathe three times before entering an anxiety provoking situation. I know that, for me, sometimes when I get stressed out, I subconsciously either hold my breath or start breathing quickly. Controlling your breathing can also help you gain control of your emotions.

2. Smile. Sometimes the physical representation of being happy can make you feel happy inside as well.

3. Forgive the past.

4. What are your dreams? Instead of getting too caught up in the future, work on what you can do to achieve your goals in the moment.

5. Do one thing at a time. It will make you less frazzled. And, what I really need to work on — do less. I fill up my days so I don't have to think about how I'm really feeling. And then, all of the sudden, I blow up. This isn't healthy. Like the blog author Angela says, "Doing less could mean that you accomplish goals with better concentration and better quality. Rushing things rarely leads to mindfulness."

6. Do something nice for someone else everyday.

I want to end with a quote by author C. Joybell C. that I found very inspiring: "I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”

You Might Also Like


  1. Nice post. I think the future is scary, but it's the only way to go.