This year sucks: It's okay to talk about it

My New Year's resolution was to write a blog post once a week. January, I was going strong; February and March I did okay. But when the whole world changed, it was a struggle to write a blog about mental health when I was struggling with my own mental health. 

In the spring and summer months, when the sun was shining and we could enjoy the outdoors and sit on restaurant patios, my mental health started to return to normal, and I could find some silver linings in life (like: being able to work in sweatpants, not having to drive during rush hour and having more free time than I've had in forever).

Now, in the last month or so, as the days are getting shorter and colder, I can feel my mental health starting to plummet again (even though Halloween is my favorite time of year, it sucks!) 

Seasonal affective disorder + the COVID pandemic = not fun.

It's been harder for me to stay motivated. It's harder for me to make myself get out of bed in the morning. I've lost a lot of my creativity. Many days, I just feel like a zombie with no concept of time except whether it's a weekday or a weekend. And, probably worst of all, my self-confidence has completely nosedived. 

So, I know, this blog post doesn't really offer any advice or anything helpful (sorry about that!) 
I guess the point is to say that it can be cleansing just to get it off your chest. To yell into the void: "Ahhh! I'm not coping well right now!" 

When you do talk about it, you'll realize you're not alone. A few days ago, someone I used to work with reached out to me. She said, "As a mother of a daughter with anxiety and depression and other mental health issues, I appreciate your honesty and bravery in taking on the discussion. And, by the way, I'm also sick and tired of (this) too." 

And this meant so much to me. Because even though I may sleep, watch Netflix and wallow more than usual, knowing that I helped just one person not feel so alone because I talked about it, it made me feel like I'm doing something worthwhile in the midst of all this mess.

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  1. I love your blogs and insights! I loved what you had to say about the early stages of the pandemic, it helped me get into a better mind state! Please continue writing.