Meant to Live

Do you think there are signs someone may be contemplating suicide on his or her Facebook page, other social networks and text messages?

The Veterans Education and Research Association of Northern England are trying to find out with the Durkheim Project. Anonymous U.S. veterans who opt in to share their social media and mobile phone data will be studied, reports allFacebook.com. This data will be studied to see if it is correlated with tendencies for harmful behaviors. The data will be safeguarded by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

I'm personally not sure how telling this will be. Even though the veterans will remain anonymous, they still know they are being studied. And I think, for most people, they would watch what they say in a text message if they knew it was being forwarded to the government. Even if it was subconsciously, there are certain things people wouldn't say. For a person who may send sexually explicit text messages on a regular basis, for instance, or send naked pictures, this probably would no longer happen during this study.

So, while I do think Facebook statuses and text messages could serve as a direct link to suicidal tendencies, I personally think this study will be flawed. The text messages that would most likely predict self harming behavior will probably be severely edited during this study. At least I know if it were me taking part in this study, that's what I would do — even if I didn't do it on purpose.

But, while I don't have any scientific evidence to back me up, I do think that, many times, the two are correlated. For example, the day Paris Jackson, the daughter of the late-King of Pop Michael Jackson, attempted suicide, she posted on her Twitter account, "Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay."

I think if someone is posting ambiguous statuses or Tweets referencing losing hope or giving up, this could be a sign. And, when posting this online, they are reaching out for help. Be there for them. Send them a message, a text message or call them ASAP and ask what is wrong.

When someone is contemplating suicide, he or she is not in the right mind. And, when locked in their bedroom with only a cell phone, chances are, they will talk to somebody privately -- or publicly. I know that, looking back on times in my life when I was depressed, this was when I would text friends or post sad song lyrics on Facebook. A depressed person combined with a phone can be a dangerous combination. I'm pretty sure this is when I've said some of the most embarrassing and/or uncharacteristic things. But, in that mindset, I'm was just hoping that someone would respond and help me feel better.

This could be a last ditch effort, when feeling completely alone, to see if people do care about them. So when you get a text from a friend or see a Facebook status that raises a red flag, don't ignore it. This could make the difference between life and death.

Can you tell someone is contemplating suicide from social media posts and text messages?

Do you think there are signs someone may be contemplating suicide on his or her Facebook page, other social networks and text messages? ...

I'm sure if you were to count up all the words I say on a daily basis, you would find I say "Sorry" the most.

If you just look at me sideways, I will automatically think I did something wrong. And I will automatically say, "I'm sorry." I always feel like I need to apologize for who I am. And it drives me crazy — always second-guessing the things I say and do. And I bet it drives other people crazy as well.

And I don't know why I do it.

After researching this, I found out that I'm not alone — and experts call it the "Sorry Syndrome."

Dr. Susan Gaddis of communicationsdoctor.com said, "Women say, ‘I'm sorry’ much more than men because of our nurturing nature and our desire to make everyone happy."

Some of the reasons people excessively use the word "Sorry" are to settle situations, to gain acceptance, to fit in and to make those around him or her feel more comfortable, according to Suite 101.

For me, saying "Sorry" was as natural to me as saying, "Hello" or "Good-bye." If I'm at the grocery store and somebody hits me, I'm the one who says, "Sorry."

I think it's because I put the heavy weight on my shoulders of trying to make everyone happy. And when someone isn't happy, I accept the blame for it. When I'm hanging out with someone and I can tell he or she isn't having fun, I think that it's my fault. And you can surely predict that I will repeatedly say, "I'm sorry."

I'm also scared of confrontation. I hate fights with a passion. I always feel like, if I disagree with someone, he or she will leave me. And so, before the confrontation hardly begins, I will quickly say, "I'm sorry."

But I realize that this constant saying of the word makes me depressed. I like to think of myself as independent. But, by saying the word, I am placing blame on myself, and I am forfeiting my power. By saying sorry, it's synonymous to saying, "You're right. I'm wrong. It's my fault." And constantly feeling like I did something wrong and always feeling inadequate is bound to make a person depressed.

On top of that, Dr. Gaddis says on Suite 101 that saying, "Sorry" too often can affect the way others treat us as well.

“Saying ‘I'm sorry’ too often, especially when we know that we've done the right thing, can be dangerous. … When others see us taking a submissive role too often, they may think they can take advantage of us," she said.

So what can you do to change this? Here is some advice from wikihow:

Notice when you're saying "Sorry." Even tally it up if you want to. Are you saying the word every other sentence? If so then, yeah, the apologizing is out of hand. And people will start to not take you seriously.

Ask yourself these questions when you say sorry:

Do you say sorry to preserve the peace?

Do you say sorry to stay out of the way and not get notice?

Are there certain people or situations that make you say sorry more than others?

Is there someone who makes you feel so intimidated that the only way you feel like you can respond is by saying, "I'm sorry?"

Are you so scared of conflict that you try to end it before it can start by saying sorry?

And how does this need to apologize make you feel? In time this will make you feel resentment and you will begin to avoid people.

Instead, face what the "Sorry syndrome" stems from head-on, which, more often than not, is a lack of self esteem. I know it's easier said than done, but learn to accept yourself and the decisions you make without apologizing for it. And learn to accept the fact that it is impossible to make others happy all the time.

If you refuse a request to do something, make a conscious decision not to tack on, "I'm sorry" to the end of the sentence. If you're like me, then you're always a Yes-person, always wanting to please others. But it's not wrong to want to please yourself. And you shouldn't feel guilty for this.

Why do I say 'Sorry' all the time? Experts call it the 'Sorry Syndrome'

I'm sure if you were to count up all the words I say on a daily basis, you would find I say "Sorry" the most. If you jus...

Is it just me, or do Mondays seem to be the most depressing day of the week?

When I wake up on Monday mornings, it usually feels like a bus ran over my head. And it takes a lot of will power to throw off the covers and get myself out of my comfy bed.

For me, I think this is because, of all the days of the week, Sunday night seems to be the hardest for me to fall asleep. After all, I get to bed late on Friday and Saturday nights…and then I have to get back into my weekly routine of waking up at 6 a.m. And its difficult for my body to abruptly change sleep schedule like this — let alone on a weekly basis.

Mondays can also be depressing for people because the whole week is stretched before them — and they know it will be another five days before the weekend.

Here is some advice on how to cope with the Monday blues and start your work week off right:

Try to leave Sunday night free. Use the night to prepare for Monday so you don't feel overwhelmed when you wake up.

If you spend your entire weekend packed to the brim without any time spend pampering yourself, the stress will travel over the start of the work week. After relaxing on Sunday, Monday may not seem so difficult.

Also, try to get to bed at a decent time on Sunday. If you aren't tired, try to read a book in bed, watch some TV or take a long bath to try and relax yourself. I have the bad habit of getting home at 11 p.m. on Sunday night after hanging out with friends and then not understanding why I'm too wound up to fall asleep.

And do not, I repeat do not, drink too much on Sunday night. The worst way to start off the week is with a hangover.

Another way to ease the Monday stress is to prepare for Monday's work on Friday. Many times I wake up on Monday and think to myself — Uh oh, what all do I have to do today? If you plan out Monday's workload on Friday instead of mentally checking out for the weekend by mid-day, this will make Monday less of a "race to catch-up" day.

Also, if you think of Monday as the worst day of the week — most likely it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. So, stop thinking that way. Instead, think positively, like, "At least I have a job." Give yourself something to look forward to instead of dwelling on the things you cannot control.

Let me know, how do you cope with the Monday blues?

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thefutureofhealthnow.com

Here is another reason, in the long list of reasons, why you shouldn't kill yourself.

What if you knew that your death could cause other people to die too? Would you rethink it?

If you think the world would be better off without you, that's just not true. In fact, if you kill yourself, this increases the chances that others will attempt to do the same thing.

A new study has found that students age 12 to 13 who had a classmate kill him or herself was almost five times more likely to have thoughts of suicide than someone who never had a classmate commit suicide. Of 16 to 17-year-olds, 15.1 percent of the students who had a classmate commit suicide said they had thought of it too, compared to 7.4 percent of students who didn't have a classmate kill themselves.

The study shows that these effects last for up to two years following the suicide. Also, a previous study shows that teens are at the highest risk to attempt suicide up to two years after a parent dies from suicide.

Also — surprisingly — someone doesn't have to be particularly close to the person who died in order to have these thoughts or to attempt suicide as well.

Dr. Ian Colman, an assistant professor at the Department of Epidemiology and Community Medicine and Canada Research Chair in Mental Health Epidemiology, said in the study: "When someone dies, particularly a young person, the deceased is described by their loved ones in the media and in social media in glowing, romantic terms, often mentioning how beautiful the child was. Talk like this is common when any child dies, but it can be dangerous when talking about suicide. When other vulnerable youth are reading or hearing about this, they see the reports about how wonderful the person was, and they want their loved ones to feel the same way about them."

If being harsh could save one person from doing this permanent thing, then so be it. If telling someone "Your life will get better" won't work, maybe telling them that, by choosing to live, you could save someone else — maybe that will make them stop and think. Your death could make someone else contemplate suicide. And killing yourself could cause someone else to kill themselves too.

No matter how bad your life may seem, is that really worth it?

I also think this serves as a harsh reminder to all of us. Don't wait until someone dies to say, "I love you," or say how much those in your life mean to you. Maybe, if more people were told they were loved while alive, they wouldn't want, so desperately, to die.

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Can you tell someone is contemplating suicide from social media posts and text messages?

Why do I say 'Sorry' all the time? Experts call it the 'Sorry Syndrome'

Why is Monday the most depressing day of the week?

After victories for gay marriage by Supreme Court, hopefully more people will treat them equally

How to cope with the ending of a friendship

Why can't we talk about it?

Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes, learn from them

Paris Jackson attempts suicide, shows life is about so much more than money

Oprah: 'We want to be validated. We want to be understood.'

'Falling in love' will not cure your depression

'Purpose Driven Life' author's son kills himself; parents shouldn't blame themselves

Suicide is 'contagious,' another reason not to do it

What are panic attacks?

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