If Colter Wall can cancel a tour for his mental health, you can cancel your plans

Have you ever stayed at a job that poorly affected your mental health because you didn't want to let people down? 

Have you ever stayed in a relationship that brought out the worst in you because you didn't want to hurt the other person's feelings? 

Have you ever made too many plans – running yourself ragged – just because you didn't want to tell anyone, "No?"

I can answer, "Yes," to all three. That's because I have a compulsive fear of letting anyone down. 

But, this week, singer Colter Wall did something that inspired me. 

I was supposed to go to his show at the Fox Theatre this weekend with my husband. And I was really excited about it. If you know me, you know I'm not a big country music fan, so it says a lot that I was excited about this concert, even buying my first pair of cowboy boots for the occasion. 

Colter is one of the only current country artists I like, reminiscent of classic country, like Johnny Cash. But, on Wednesday morning, only three days before the show we'd been looking forward to since Christmas, I opened Instagram and my stomach sank.

Colter had posted: "I am mentally unwell. Despite this, I have pushed myself to continue with touring. As a result, my mental health has only further declined. After discussions with my team, we have decided to cancel the remaining shows and take an indefinite hiatus from live music." 


Yes, I was disappointed, especially since my husband and I missed the last two concerts we were supposed to go to – one because I had just given birth (a pretty good excuse) and the other because the power went out at the stadium. 

But then I realized how selfish I was being. 

When I took a step back, Colter's actions actually put things into perspective for me. He said, "No," to all his remaining tour dates, effectively disappointing THOUSANDS of people – all so he could take care of his own mental health. 

Yet, for me, I'm afraid of disappointing only one or two people. It made me realize my stakes are much smaller than his. If Colter can prioritize his mental health over thousands, then I can prioritize my mental health over disappointing a couple people. His actions gave me the permission I needed to let myself off the hook. 

Afterall, fans will get over a cancelled show. And friends will get over you saying, "No," to a party. And a significant other will even get over you ending a relationship that isn't good for you. But it won't be as easy for you to get over the toll it takes on your mind and body when you constantly put your own needs last.

This is the only life we get, and you're the only one who can prioritize your wellbeing. No one else will do it for you. So, remind yourself that temporarily letting others down will always be worth your long-term health and happiness. 

Monica's goal is to raise awareness about suicide and help erase the stigma associated with mental illness. In 2012, she won first place in News Enterprise Reporting by the Michigan Press Association for her series on suicide in the community, and in 2013, was named “Digital Innovator of the Year” by the Local Media Association. In 2019, she received the Ambassador Award from the suicide prevention nonprofit Six Feet Over. She started the blog Meant to Live to help others by sharing signs of depression, reasons to live, resources, suicide and bullying prevention groups, other people’s stories and memorials. She especially wants to show people that they are not alone.

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