Treating women like objects could lead to death
Thankfully he found her in enough time, and she survived.
When her father asked why she did it, she told her father it was because of his porn addiction and the way he blatantly looked at other women.
"If Mom isn't good enough for you, then how will I ever find a man who thinks I'm good enough?" she asked.
This is a true story. This girl is friends with one of the pastors at a church I go to.
If you think porn, strip clubs and, well, just treating people like objects is a victimless crime, you are wrong.
I was at a friend's house in college and porn was on the television. And I saw the way women with plastic surgery were pushed by men who just laid back and did nothing. The women, who looked more like Barbie dolls than actual women, did whatever the man asked.
Do you think people who are watching porn actually think of the woman as a human being? Probably not.
Now imagine the girl is someone's daughter. Think about the high number of porn stars who have lost their lives to suicide, died from a sexually transmitted disease or suffer from drug abuse.
Porn Star Legend Hyapatia Lee says, "I've lost so many friends in this industry to suicide."
Now imagine, while you are sitting there in a computer chair, that your significant other is standing in the doorway, thinking, "I guess I'm not good enough if he needs to watch a stranger." Now, imagine that, without being able to help it, you start comparing other women's bodies to the women you see in these adult films?
Doesn't seem too innocent now, does it?
If this is what people think sex should be like, no wonder nearly one in five women report they have been sexually assaulted in their lifetime. And no wonder so many relationships end in disasters. After all, women already have enough so-called images they feel they need to live up to. And then add in competing with a porn star her boyfriend or husband feels the need to have a relationship in his mind with?
I read this passage from the book Warrior Chicks by Holly Wagner, which I think highlights the effects of pornography and treating women like objects:
“My friend Harmony…was just three when she was exposed to pornography. When she was five, she was molested by two women. When she was seven, she was molested by an older boy. When she was eight, her drug-addict mother was almost killed by a man who broke into their home and beat her with brass knuckles. When she was 13, her mother’s boyfriend began pursuing her sexually. She started running away from home. The boyfriend moved out and her mom followed him, leaving her alone with her 8-year-old brother for three months. When she was 14, she was raped by her ex-boyfriend. More than once. In fact, so many times that she stopped fighting him. As a result of the attacks, she was kicked out of school for having sex on campus. The school staff made an announcement over the PA system, telling everyone why she had been kicked out. The rumor around school was that she was having an orgy and filming a porno movie in the auditorium. Her reputation had been formed and followed her all the way to college.
When she was 16, her boyfriend was shot in the head. She tried to cut her wrists. When she was 19, some guy at college told her that she should become a stripper to solve her financial problems. She didn’t want to. She made an appointment with one of her psychology professors to seek advice. She looked up to him and hoped he would tell her not to do it. He said, ‘You might as well do it. It’s not like you have to add it to your resume.’
So she began stripping. While still going to school, she worked as an assistant teacher by day and a stripper by night. She finally ended up quitting her day job. Her psychology professor came to the club and had one of his friends ask her to do a table dance for him. She was finally convinced that all men were sick and perverted.
Her boyfriend got another girl pregnant. The pregnant girl moved in with them.
When she was 20, she started sleeping with women. One of her girlfriends moved in with her, her boyfriend and the boyfriend’s other girlfriend!
When she was 21, she met a girl in ballet class and developed a friendship. This girl invited her to church. She went. She encountered a love that took her breath away, and she pursued a relationship with God. She began to understand her worth and value. She went to recovery classes and Bible studies.
She quit stripping.
When she was 23, she graduated with a B.A. in psychology.
When she was 26, she married a man who adored her, who treated her with love and dignity.
When she was 27, she started a master’s degree program. And she started a group called Treasures out of Darkness. The group of girls from our church goes into strip clubs, taking gifts to the dancers and demonstrating the love of God. Many of the dancers, upon encountering Harmony and the girls of the Treasures, begin the journey toward understanding their value. Many have left the club life.
Harmony was a victim of so much pain that it breaks my heart.
She survived. Now she is an overcomer. In the very arena in which the enemy tried to destroy her, she is now leading others to freedom. I love that.
Victim. Survivor. Overcomer. Who you were. Who you are. Who you are destined to be.”